Parashat Chayei Sara begins with the exchange that took place between Avraham and the neighboring Chittites surrounding the Machpela cave, which Avraham sought to purchase as a burial site after his wife’s passing. Efron, who owned the property, offered to give the cave and the adjacent field to Avraham free of charge, but the patriarch insisted on paying full price. Finally, Efron said, “A land worth four hundred shekels of silver – what is it to you and me? Bury your dead [wife]” (23:15). Avraham promptly paid Efron the specified sum and took possession of the land.
Chazal, in a number of Midrashim, portray Efron as a sly and greedy merchant, who put forth a façade of generosity while actually hinting to Avraham that he sought an exorbitant price for a small piece of property. A number of commentators, however, explained differently, claiming that Efron sincerely wished to give Avraham the property free of charge, viewing the land as not significant enough an asset to demand payment (see, for example, Radak).
Shadal offers a particularly insightful interpretation of Efron’s remark: “It is not appropriate for me or for you to excessively indulge in deliberations over this, for it is something trivial [davar kal] for us, and you must bury your dead [wife]. And since you do not wish to receive it as a gift, I will not stop you from paying its price.” According to Shadal, Efron’s intent here is to downplay the significance of the issue under discussion, to simplify the process by accepting Avraham’s demand so that Sara could be buried without further delay. Essentially, Efron told Avraham, “This is not worth any further discussion; if you insist on paying, then pay and take possession of the land without delaying the burial any further!”
As mentioned, our Midrashic tradition generally looks disdainfully upon Efron. Nevertheless, it would appear that according to Shadal’s interpretation, there is perhaps a simple yet significant lesson that we could learn from Efron’s handling of the situation. Whenever we find ourselves embroiled in any kind of argument, it is worth taking a moment to see if perhaps the subject of the dispute is a “davar kal,” a “trivial matter” that does not quite deserve an argument. Avraham and Efron were both insisting on doing the right thing: Avraham felt he should pay full price for the land, while Efron did not want to take money from a person of Avraham’s stature. But Efron quickly realized that at a certain point, there was no sense having an argument while a deceased woman was awaiting burial. Whether Avraham pays or doesn’t pay, Efron realized, the more critical concern is that he takes the land and buries his wife as quickly as possible. This is perhaps how we should approach the arguments and disagreements in which we find ourselves. We should ask ourselves, should we be giving this matter the time and emotional energy it is currently receiving? Are there perhaps other, more pressing matters that demand our attention but are being neglected because of this argument?
According to Shadal, Efron acted sincerely, and wisely. He was sincere in his desire to give Avraham the land without pay, and he was wise to realize that this issue was not worth arguing over while a righteous woman awaited burial. His conduct should serve as an instructive example of ending unnecessary conflicts so that we can redirect our time and focus onto more important matters.